I’m sorry readers. It’s been a while since the last post. Seems like I’ve been disappeared for almost a year. I don’t mean to but there were a lot of things happened to me in this year (I hope I can make it ‘till December, cross fingered). I guess this year is not my year. Although my life is quite dull every year but I always review my biggest achievement among my dull life (yess I have a lowest expectation in my life, so little things can make me happy and proud of myself). Last year my biggest achievement is living in Jakarta (I guess, LOL). So in the new year, fresh start, and fire burning spirit, (I think) I could spread my wings and learn to fly in the sky, but damn I just got shit from another bird who flew above me (shit happens), yup.
I started this year with a good
and smooth life. I worked as Administrator (admin), yup I know this is the
first shit that I had to starting this year. I know, I should be working as
designer in some kinda fashion industry. I sent my cv’ and my (sort of)
portfolio to every fashion house in Jakarta, but turns out no one wanted me,
because I don’t have a professional portfolio to show my skills and my taste
capability in fashion industry. And then I realized, “okay, I will take this
job, and then save some money to take a certified course or class”. FYI, fashion course (including sewing, making
patterns, and everything) in Jakarta is really, really EXPENSIVE.
Days go by and then I got a wedding
invitation from one of my best friend in Padang. She was married in March, and
I couldn’t be happier for her. She never expected she will be married in this
young age. I was really happy for her and her husband. When she tried fitting
the dress in Jakarta, I got caught on the moment. She looked beautiful, her
dress was really made for her and only her. The dress, OMG I can’t stop
thinking and talking about it. But then, another shit slammed right to my face,
decompose on my nose and cheeks. I can’t attend her wedding in Padang, because
my office weren’t allowed me. So I just watched her live streaming and her Instagram
posting.
Weeks passing me by, I finished
my contract as admin and I was unemployed for about two months (and single).
Okay, I don’t wanna exaggerating the situation, but this moment was the lowest
point of my life so far. Here comes the biggest shit I got in this year, I was
unemployed and broken heart in the middle of the year. I spent my days in my
room crying and completely shut out myself from my friends and my parents. For
the first time in my life someone break my heart, and I didn’t know how to
handle it. I really couldn’t describe the pain that I’ve been through, so much
pain in one month.
I used to build around myself a
big, high, and thick wall to protect myself from everything. This wall
controlled me and vice versa. And then a crazy stupid thing called love came
and knocked on my wall. I took a peek, the love gave me a smile, I smiled back.
The love keep softly knocking on my wall. And then suddenly my wall fell down.
I was shocked, there was a rainbow, unicorn and any other excitement thing that
love brought to me. The love grabbed my hand and asked me to chase the end of
the rainbow, I hesitated, but then the love smiled to me, and then I just got
carried away. This is not the end of the story, but the story is far from the
end.
When I was running on the
rainbow, I felt like a leprechaun. You know the story of the leprechaun chasing
the end of the rainbow, because he thought there would be a pot of gold in the
end. But turns out the leprechaun get fooled because it’s just corn flakes
instead of gold. But in my case, there is no pot of gold, or even a cornflake.
It’s just rainbow get faded away in the end, and I was aware with that, but I didn’t know why I
keep running. And then I fell so high, the gravity held my body tight and
crushed me in the pit of the Death Valley. I was broken, shattered pieces to
pieces, and all alone. I don’t wanna petty myself, I am just a truthfully
broken hearted man.
Comments
Post a Comment