Short (shitting) thing in my life

We always imaging a perfect situation in our head, we did that because we don’t want to face the truth or reality of life. We make a several perfect way to achieve our dreams, even just in our head. Put in a piece of paper, hang it in your desk or locker. We make a plan to reach it, several have been accomplished, and the rest just a stupid plan that left hanging in the desk. We faced the ugly truth out there, dream is not enough and plan never worked out. I’m not talked about your life, but my life. Life is full of mess, it’s up to you how you to make it a beautiful mess.

If I just a one shot of chance, I wont wasted it. I’ll show to the world how great I am and how far I improving my skills. But here I am, just a regular guy, people around me just thought that I’m good in drawing. I don’t need that (I’m not attention seeker), I need comment, suggestion, an advice. I want to more developing myself as a designer. I’m not just a guy who made a doodle (although it’s a good doodle, actually), I’m a designer.

My dream want to be Alexander Mcqueen (rest in peace), Lagerfeld, or Valentino. I have a skills, I have talent, but is it enough to fulfill my dream. No it’s not, I don’t have enough money to go design school, I never learn how to sewing, and in my country have wrong perception to a guy who designing dress. And the final reason is my parent do not want to support my dream ( I guess it’s a common reason for us). Although I have a lot of money to design school or maybe study design and arts in abroad. I don’t know where’s to go and should do. Am I sound pathetic? Maybe I shouldn’t write these, and you shouldn’t read these too.

But there’s one thing I do believe, I believe someday I’ll became a great designer. Until that, I still designing and maybe learn sewing in somewhere. Just like Freddy Mercury says “I always knew I was a star. And now, the rest of the world seems to agree with me”. Well, I guess I have to learn materials and variation of dress all by myself right now.

that's my design. i made it in the middle of the night.

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